Archive for February, 2012

Day 237


I accept responsiblity for my life.

I find wholeness and healing in my life by first looking inward.

There is no-thing that I can not overcome by first looking inward.


No one can fix their life if the internal structure is broken.  The external always reflects the internal, and eventually all inner issues will reveal themselves outwardly.  It’s easy to blame others and circumstances for the life messes we find ourselves in, but those messes are generally the product of internal issues that have caused us to make poor choices and take wrong actions. Whether the problem is an inability to find lasting abundance, cultivate healthy relationships, or find satisfying purpose in life, the permanent solution is always found by first going within.  When the internal structure is whole, healthy, and secure,  the external reflects that wholeness.  That is not to say that difficulty will not find its way into our lives, it always will, but how we manage those challenges, how we overcome them, and how we grow from them, depends largely on how healthy and secure our internal world is.


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Day 236


I intend to live fully, here and now.

I do not wait for someday or oneday; today is my living reality.


“When I am an old woman I shall wear purple, with a red hat that doesn’t go, and doesn’t suit me”… “I shall sit down on the pavement when I am tired and gobble up samples in shops”… “and run my stick along the public railings and make up for the sobriety of my youth.”  (by Jenny Joseph)

I’ve long enjoyed Ms. Joseph’s poem, but would love to ask her, “Why wait until you’re an old woman?  Why not wear purple now?”  Perhaps it is in a very human attempt to feel immortal that we save so much living for tomorrow.  After all, if living is saved for a later date, then the future must be certain… Or so we would like to believe.

We save words for better moments, clothes, linens, and dishware for special occasions, and the reaching for of goals for a later point in life when we have more time (is there a 25 hour day coming sometime in the near future that no one told me about?).  We save our dreams for ideal settings and our hearts for ideal partners.  Why?  What if tomorrow never comes? What if life never matches up to our ideal?

An email went around several years ago, telling of the man who’d bought his wife a very beautiful nightgown, which he secreted away in a closet to give her some day when the time was right.  As the story goes, his wife was suddenly killed and he found the nightie he’d never given her, the sight of which filled him with regret.  So how many joys, dreams, words, chances, clothes or pieces of crystal are you saving?

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Day 235


I am free of inner conflict.

I am at-one with my life.

I am at peace in my mind.

I am at peace in my spirit.

I am at peace in my heart.

I am at peace.

I am peace.


We all need a place we can go to find peace, a place where we can be un-intruded upon, still, and centered.  It’s important that place be easily accessible and available 24/7.   The peaceful place may be indoors, in a bedroom, meditation room, or even in the bathtub or shower.  It may be outside, in a garden, on a porch, or in a spa or pool.  The peaceful space should be made known to others, that they know not to interrupt when we’re there.  Once in our designated refuge, a simple breathing meditation or repeated affirmation, can help still the mind and align us with the peace we desire.   Too often we place other’s needs above our own, but without time and a place to connect to our inner selves, we lose our balance and wind up stressed, reactive or tired.   A few minutes spent in our chosen place each morning and each evening can do wonders for aligning ourselves for both a day out in the world, and a night deep in our subconscious.

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Day 234


I let go my need for attachment and reside in my desire to love.

I do not cling; I surrender

I am not compulsive; I am free


Love and fear cannot co-exist, and unhealthy attachment is a compulsion or need that arises from fear.  Love is a state of connectedness that requires vulnerability and surrender; fear promotes insecurity and inner isolation.  Love promotes interdependence within a shared safe space; unhealthy attachment never feels safe for very long and thrives off of a kind of co-dependent wrapping-around another and their life.  Love expands the individual and the heart; attachment diminishes both.  When insecurity arises within the framework of a  and it always will- love faces it promptly and then takes whatever action is necessary to relinquish it, but like fertilizer in a garden of viny, thorny weeds, needy attachment thrives on insecurity and is supported by it.   Love exists in a state of present presence; attachment is always mindful of the pains of the yesterday and fearing the imagined pains of tomorrow.  Attachment is a compulsive need; love is free to want.

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Day 233


I acknowledge and accept my every emotion as valid, especially the negative ones.

I am worthy of my every emotion.

I will not pass judgement on myself for the feelings I have.


It’s easy to own our positively charged emotions, so easy in fact that we wear them on our faces as smiles.  Owning a negatively charged emotion however, can be a whole different experience.    Each of us is guilty of invalidating our feelings by judging ourselves with thoughts like, “I have no right to feel this way” or “I am being silly” or “I’m being selfish” or “I’m wrong for feeling this way”.   Women are particularly good at denying their negative feelings, especially if they conflict with someone else’s feelings.  Have you ever been upset with someone for something they did (or didn’t do) and determined to ignore the feeling because “it isn’t worth it” or because you think you’re “overreacting” or that addressing it will “make waves” ?   Have you ever wished a situation was different but accepted it as-is because  you felt “selfish” or “ungrateful” ?   Have you ever been sad, angry, frustrated, discouraged or disappointed and wanted to talk about it but instead told yourself you didn’t want to “burden anyone” or “make a big deal out of nothing” or sound like you’re “whining” ?

Every emotion and feeling we have is important and none should be invalidated or diminished.   We need not sit and stew in them any longer than necessary, but to ignore unpleasant or uncomfortable feelings (and their causes), believing they will simply disappear on their own is delusional.  They don’t go away, they hide and reappear later when it’s inconvenient and irrelevant.  All feelings need to be acknowledged and accepted.  Acknowledging and accepting can be as simple as saying, “I’m feeling very sad about this and that’s OK.  I am allowed to feel this way.”   Once a feeling has been acknowledged and accepted, only then can it be released and replaced.

Whatever we are feeling, positive or otherwise, it’s important to give ourselves permission to *be in* the emotions we have.  They are our own, a part of us, and therefore valid and acceptable, if only for the time it takes to acknowledge them.

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I want to thank everyone who subscribes to this blog for your *amazing* patience and understanding over the past several months, and I’d like to offer an explanation for the infrequency of entries.  When I began this blog on January 1st, 2011, I did so with the intention of writing daily for the entirety of the year, but life offered me an unexpected path last June and all intentions went by the wayside. 

After a decade of traversing through life deliberately in solitude, a beautiful man asked if we could travel together.  *Knowing* we belonged together, we combined our households–no easy task, let me tell you–and in the midst of it all, life threw its necessary curve balls just to test our resolve.  At the same time I was asked to take what would be a 3-month caregiving position that required long full-time shifts.   So I chose, again quite deliberately, to make our relationship a priority and suspend writing until life settled in.

Finally, months later, it has.  The work has ended, our life together is mostly humming along, and I am gratefully  intending to again post daily.  To those who expressed concern over my absence, now you know– it’s all been for love!  Thank you everyone for every kind word and all of your positive, supportive thoughts.  I appreciate all of you!   And…


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Day 232


Today I intend to smile at everyone, everywhere I go.


It’s a good day to *SMILE* !  If for no other reason than we all feel better when we smile and we all like feeling GOOD!   Smile at strangers instead of looking away.   Smile at someone you don’t get along with–and leave ‘em wondering!   Smile at your own face in the mirror!   Smile because you are YOU and because you CAN!   Just by smiling you’ll affect the energy around you and people will respond.  They may find themselves feeling better too – they might even smile back!   Don’t feel like smiling?  Force it.  Fake it.  It might just stick 🙂

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Liebster Blog Award

On January 4th I found out that Gary Grosenberg of Waking Spirals  had given me the Liebster Blog award.  I am extremely grateful!

The Liebster Blog Award is given to bloggers who have less than 200 followers and is a great way to bring attention to other worthwhile blogs and bloggers.  This is a pay-it-forward award and the rules are:

1. Thank the person who gave you the award and link back to his or her blog

2. Copy and paste the “Liebster Blog Award” icon into your post

3. Pass the award on to your fellow bloggers and let them know you did so

[Liebster, by the way, is German (n.) and means: sweetheart, beloved person, darling.]

Here are the  blogs I am passing the award to:

Eduspire   A thought-provoking blog that takes an enlightened look at childhood education and other topics.

Golden-Smiles-n-Tears-of-Poetry  Jyoti Arora’s blog of beautiful poetry and prose.

Connecting with God  A spiritual discussion about creating a personal relationship with Divinity.

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