Owning Our Emotions

Day 233


I acknowledge and accept my every emotion as valid, especially the negative ones.

I am worthy of my every emotion.

I will not pass judgement on myself for the feelings I have.


It’s easy to own our positively charged emotions, so easy in fact that we wear them on our faces as smiles.  Owning a negatively charged emotion however, can be a whole different experience.    Each of us is guilty of invalidating our feelings by judging ourselves with thoughts like, “I have no right to feel this way” or “I am being silly” or “I’m being selfish” or “I’m wrong for feeling this way”.   Women are particularly good at denying their negative feelings, especially if they conflict with someone else’s feelings.  Have you ever been upset with someone for something they did (or didn’t do) and determined to ignore the feeling because “it isn’t worth it” or because you think you’re “overreacting” or that addressing it will “make waves” ?   Have you ever wished a situation was different but accepted it as-is because  you felt “selfish” or “ungrateful” ?   Have you ever been sad, angry, frustrated, discouraged or disappointed and wanted to talk about it but instead told yourself you didn’t want to “burden anyone” or “make a big deal out of nothing” or sound like you’re “whining” ?

Every emotion and feeling we have is important and none should be invalidated or diminished.   We need not sit and stew in them any longer than necessary, but to ignore unpleasant or uncomfortable feelings (and their causes), believing they will simply disappear on their own is delusional.  They don’t go away, they hide and reappear later when it’s inconvenient and irrelevant.  All feelings need to be acknowledged and accepted.  Acknowledging and accepting can be as simple as saying, “I’m feeling very sad about this and that’s OK.  I am allowed to feel this way.”   Once a feeling has been acknowledged and accepted, only then can it be released and replaced.

Whatever we are feeling, positive or otherwise, it’s important to give ourselves permission to *be in* the emotions we have.  They are our own, a part of us, and therefore valid and acceptable, if only for the time it takes to acknowledge them.

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