Archive for the ‘Love and Relationship’ Category

Day 137


I only make choices that are beneficial to my life and support my well-being.

I only make choices that support my growth into a  more empowered and more authentic, loving human.

It is easy to get into the habit of making choices that do not serve one’s life or self.   That may be the habit of choosing an unhealthy relationship, choosing to be in situations which promote victimhood, or choosing to worry (which offers nothing positive to any experience).   Consciously choosing that which is physically, emotionally, and spiritually healthy is always the right choice, for both the self and others.  Choosing to nourish the body with the healthiest possible food is choosing well-being.  Choosing to end or avoid engaging in toxic situations is choosing to support one’s growth.  Choosing to view oneself as worthy and valuable is choosing empowerment.  Choosing to feel compassion, tolerance, understanding and acceptance is choosing authenticity.   Choosing to have a positive attitude and positive thoughts is choosing to be a more positive, loving person.   Being conscious of what one is choosing – and whether or not the consequences of those choices  support well-being – is an important part of living a joyful, healthy, authentic life of love and truth.


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Day 128


I am grateful for limitless possibilities.

I am grateful for opportunities to have all that is positive in my life.

I am blessed with a beautifully abundant and balanced life.

I have wealth and I am grateful.

I have a fulfilling purpose and I am grateful.

I have inner peace and I am grateful.

I have healthy relationships and I am grateful.

I have a healthy body and I am grateful.

I have a soul satisfying spiritual life and I am grateful.

I enjoy life’s pleasures and I am grateful.

Financial wealth, fulfilling purpose/work, inner peace, healthy relationships, physical health, connection to self and spirit, and time for fun and relaxation… These are seven fundamental components of an abundant and balanced life.   If asked, many people would likely say that at least one of these areas in their lives has been sacrificed for another.  Perhaps work that creates wealth has caused relationships to be shortchanged.  Or maybe a deeply spiritual life has been created at the expense of wealth.

So why do we give up one thing in order to have another?  Why don’t we strive to have it all?  Sadly, many of us – usually unconsciously – do not believe we’re worthy of “having it all” and without the belief in our worthiness we never will.  A good many more do not consciously believe it’s possible.  It’s an all too common misconception that only through sacrifice can we achieve our goals.  Of course if that were true no one would “have it all” and many do.  Remember, if but ONE PERSON can achieve something, then so can anyone, even you and I.  Still others feel selfish or self-centered just thinking about wanting to “have it all.”  Those are limiting beliefs planted in us by others and they need to be uprooted. No one needs to settle for three out of seven when seven of seven is possible,  and everyone has the same potential for that perfect seven.

Having It All


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Day 125


I celebrate life.

I celebrate the miracles, joys, successes, bounty, imperfection, health, love, triumph, growth, prosperity, support, opportunities and Presence, in my life.

I celebrate the big reveals in the small details.

I celebrate living.

Life is not always easy but it always holds something to cherish, to honour and to celebrate.  It may be storming but outside birds still sing.   Find a reason to celebrate.  Look around the world and see the goodness, the glory and the greatness!  Look in the mirror and see the smile, the wisdom and the potential!    Rejoice in the monumental small details, the clean water, the gentle hug, the bee that dances from flower to flower.   Celebrate good times, past, present, and future.   Celebrate the Divine and Sacred gift of existence!   Find a reason, any or none at all, but CELEBRATE!

And if my passionate words aren’t enough…. listen and just try not to dance!  Celebrate!

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Day 123


I give gifts freely, without  strings attached.

Once I give a gift I let go completely.

What someone does with a gift I give is none of my business.

A true gift is the one given without the giver attached to it.  If we give someone a vase and do so expecting they will fill and display it, we are attaching ourselves and our expectations to the gift.  Under those circumstances we are not truly giving; we are sharing.  A true gift has no such strings.  It is not given with any expectation of being used, worn, displayed, or eaten.  There may hope, but no expectation, and certainly no disappointment if it is not.  A true gift originates in the desire to give, not in the desire to see one’s self or worth reflected in that gift’s use.  

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Day 120


I am eternally grateful for the many gifts my mother gave me.

I acknowledge and appreciate the many other mothers I have had as guides and models in my life.

There are as many different kinds of mothers as there are women.  Some are the quintessential cookie-baking types, others are better at creating business contacts.   Some are nurturing, some need nurturing.  Some mothers show us beautiful paths, others throw roadblocks in our way.  Some mothers become our friends, some our children, and some our adversaries.   Some mothers teach us by example, from some we learn to be better than their example.  A mother doesn’t have to be the one who gave  birth, she doesn’t even have to be the one who did the raising.  Some mothers are our mother’s friends, our aunts, our guardians, or any number of other women who showed us the way.   Though not all are ideal parents, all mothers give us something we need for our journey.   That may be little more than a physical body, or it might be a font of love and support.   All mothers plant seeds from which we can learn to become and become better.    On this day of honouring mothers, let us remember to honour them all – the devoted, the difficult, the birthing, the adopting, the fostering, the sister-like, the embarrassing, the proud, and all of the others.   Each has had a place in our lives and offered us opportunities for growth, beauty, and expanded potential.

FOR FUN: Television has shown the faces of many mothers over the decades – single, married, divorced, unwed, doctors, lawyers, stay-at-homes (previously known as housewives!), musicians and witches.  Some have been a little nutty while others were  too serious but we’ve all been drawn to one or more in our lifetime for one reason or another.  Enjoy the photos and the memories they invite!

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365 Days of Inspiration –  Daily Affirmations and Insights for Living a Joyful Life of Empowered Consciousness


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Day 115


I am good enough.

I am smart enough.

I am attractive enough.

I am strong enough.

I am capable enough.

I am lovable enough.

I am worthy enough.

I am EVERYTHING enough!

With conscious awareness, we can catch ourselves having self-critical thoughts.  Sometimes the words are so deep within our minds they come through like a bully’s taunting whisper, other times they’re intimidatingly loud and clear, and sometimes they’re vocalized aloud.  We need to pay attention to these I’m-not-good-enough thoughts.  From the rather mild, “I can’t believe he really loves me,” and “That’s just too good to be true,” to the outright self-abusive thoughts like, “What an idiot I am,” and “Why am I always so stupid?” these words keep us small and wounded.  We learned how to communicate with ourselves from those outside of us – usually parental figures and other caregivers – but as adults we are now parents to ourselves.  We are now the sources of our own loving acceptance.  Conscious self-parenting means we can love and nurture ourselves even and especially when we make mistakes, cause accidents, don’t know something, are wrong or act in any other humbly human way.  Conscious self-parenting means we speak to ourselves with the same loving and compassionate and patient speech we would use when parenting anyone. When we recognize that the inner critic / inner parent is reprimanding and belittling us we can counter each critique with a resounding, “I AM ENOUGH!” because we are.  We are good enough.  We are smart enough.  We are attractive enough.  We are strong enough.  We are capable enough.  We are lovable enough.  We are worthy enough.  We are EVERYTHING enough.

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Day 112


I am courageous.

I have a fearless heart.

I am courageous in love; I have a fearless heart.

I am courageous in life; I have a fearless heart.

I am courageous and I have a fearless heart.

Fear is an important part of the animal within us.  Fear is the necessary primal alert to a possible threat.  Without fear, early man would have likely never survived as a species.  We still need fear to alert us to threats, but instead of relying on fear to protect us solely from physical danger, we have adapted this response to every situation in our lives that might feel threatening, and in the modern world most of our threats are emotional.  We fear losing our selves to another, we fear losing our independence, we fear being controlled, we fear being hurt, we fear being abandoned, we fear being betrayed, we fear being happy, we fear change.  Many amazing and beautiful relationships have been missed out on or come to a sorry end because of fear.  By embracing our emotional fears and understanding how they attempt to protect us – with tactics like avoidance, defensiveness, detachment and aggression – we can begin to relinquish or move beyond them.  In fear our hearts never know the fullness of love and that is the great irony because our greatest fear is of being unloved but it is the fear itself that makes it so.  It takes daring and courage but only when our hearts are fearless are we truly open to loving and being loved.

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Day 111


I seek balance in my life.

I temper do-ing with be-ing.

I face my challenges head on.

I seek resolutions in relationship matters.

Being busy is a sometimes necessary part of living.  The art of busy-ness is an avoidance technique.  By keeping ourselves buried in work, errands, to-do lists, meetings, chores, and appointments, we conveniently avoid dealing with something in our lives that needs facing.  When couples in relationship begin having troubles, it’s sadly common for one or both to immerse themselves in busy-ness in order to avoid dealing with their problems.  Over time, those same two who once shared a balanced life will find themselves continually busied in their now very separate lives.  Individuals who are frightened by an inner need for change or don’t want to face a painful issue, will often throw themselves into busy-ness.  When we find ourselves always on the go, with never enough time, without social interaction or relationship connection, or with too much on our plates, it’s probably a good idea to stop and ask ourselves if we’re just very busy or using busy-ness as a way of avoiding something that should have our attention.

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Day 109


I act and speak from my loving heart.

I offer love.

I represent love.

I am loving in my thoughts toward others.

Along the path toward living consciously many become concerned with the ego and its influences.  We’re often guided to ask ourselves “Am I acting from my ego?”  It is a valid consideration but with so many different ideas of what ego actually is, how can anyone really know?  And even if we agree on the function of ego, repeatedly placing our focus on the Little Protector will keep us coming at ourselves from an unproductive place of criticism and judgment. It can be frustrating and deflating.  But it doesn’t have to be and it shouldn’t be.

Instead of asking “Am I responding from my ego?” or “Is this my ego talking?” we can ask ourselves, “Am I acting from love?” or “Is this my loving heart talking?”  We all know what is loving and what isn’t.  We all know if we’re reacting to something from love or not.  So let’s make it simple, let’s just shift the focus a bit, let’s make it about love.

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Day 107


I value my emotional energy.

I use my emotional energy wisely.

I keep my attention on what is deserving of my concern.

It’s easy to make mountains out of molehills or get excited about something undeserving of any concern.  Little things can become big things very quickly if we let them.  It can be very healthy and balanced to consider a few points before becoming worked up over something.  Asking ourselves, “Does this have a lasting and negative affect on my life or another’s?” and “Does this hurt me or another?”  can put things back into proper perspective quickly.   Long lines, unwashed dishes, and dented fenders rarely change anyone’s life or cause pain.  If the matter doesn’t seriously impact anyone’s life, and causes no one harm, then there is a pretty good chance it’s not worth any expended energy.


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Day 103


I appreciate my true friend as a beautiful gift in my life.

I am grateful to know there is one person in the world I can count on.

I never take this friendship for granted.

It is not the number of people we know that counts, but who we can count on.  Anyone who can say that they have but ONE true friend has a precious gift.  Ah but the world likes us to think that more is better, even in friendships.  Emails and social media reinforce the idea that we need to have A LOT of friends or…  Or what?   It only takes one friend to save a life.  It only takes one friend to help another back to their feet.  It only takes one friend to get a laugh, catch a tear, or lend an ear…or a shoulder…or a hand.   One.  Let’s be grateful today for our true friends, whatever their number.

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Day 100


I am falling in love with myself.

I love my shared self and I love my secret self.

I love my light and I love my shadow.

I love my perfect imperfections.

Let’s fall madly in love… deeply, profoundly, in love… with ourselves.  Let’s be charmed by the adorable way we walk and the curve of our hips.  We’ll be drawn in by our knowing eyes and infectious smile. We will be captivated by our wit and insatiable curiosity.  Let’s admire our integrity, courage, and ability to love, even if it’s just hurt.  We will even love all the parts, pieces, and attributes we find fault with.   Maybe we’ll buy ourselves a rose, have it wrapped, and write the card, “I love you.”   Let’s see ourselves as creations of beauty, filled with so many wonderful qualities that we simply can not help but to fall in love… with ourselves.

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Day 99


I am entitled to have time to myself.

When I need time alone, I respect myself enough to seek it.

When others need time to themselves, I am not threatened.

I respect the needs of others to have time alone.

There are times when everyone needs solitude.  To be alone with one’s own thoughts, own choices, own experiences and even one’s own messes, is a healthy thing.  Without the influence or interruptions from others we can dig deep and reconnect with our selves, problem solve with our inner wisdom, and listen to the quiet beating of our own hearts.  It’s healthy for the self and it’s healthy for relationships.  Taking time to be alone can foster deep appreciation for the time together.  Missing someone can be a very good and perspective-shifting experience.   Spending time with ourselves can be as simple as taking a walk or afternoon at the lake.   Whether it is for one day or a whole week, time apart from others can be beneficial for everyone.

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Day 97


There is no limit to the amount of love that I give to myself.

There is no limit to the amount of love that I am willing to receive.

I give myself compliments, kindness and consideration without limits.

I accept compliments, kindness and consideration without limits.

I give myself only positive and healthy emotional, verbal and physical treatment.

I accept only positive and healthy emotional, verbal and physical treatment from others.

No one can or will receive more than they are willing to give to themselves.   This is true whether we are talking about a positive offering or a negative one.   I call the point we will not receive beyond our allowing point.  We will accept  in measures equal to or less than what we give ourselves, but once what is offered exceeds our allowing point, we will stop accepting.  One can not accept more love from another than they give to themselves.  If the amount of love one is being offered exceeds their allowing point, they will become frightened or overwhelmed and probably sabotage the relationship.   In the same way, no one will accept more pain or abuse from another than they give to themselves.  If the amount of abuse being offered exceeds the allowing point, then one will usually walk away, but rarely before.  By paying attention and asking ourselves a few simple questions we can gain some insight into where our allowing points are set…

Do I accept compliments well?  Am I comfortable receiving gifts?  Am I only attracted to bad boy or girl types?  How much abuse or lack of consideration do I allow from others before saying enough is enough? Do I mistreat or abuse myself verbally, emotionally or physically?

By looking at how we receive or reject what others offer us, we gain insight into our own ability to both love and loathe ourselves.   Imagine what a world it would be if everyone had an allowing point for positive set at infinity, and for negative, set to zero!   We can dream…We can try!

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Day 96


I resolve to laugh.

I choose to engage in activities that make me laugh.

I will laugh more than I cry.

I see the lighter side of life.

There are times when laughter really is the best medicine.  It releases feel-good hormones, raises vibrations and can create an opening where a change in perspective to take place.   Taking things too seriously for too long can lead to all kinds of problems, both physically and emotionally.   And the truth is, people who take life too seriously aren’t a lot of fun to be around.  Every aspect of life needs balance and seriousness needs to be tempered with levity.   A great way to lift spirits or lighten a mood is to watch a funny movie or online video, read jokes, go to a comedy club, or watch a comedian on television.   To keep balance in our lives,  we can resolve to see the lighter side, and to engage in activities that produce laughter.

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Day 95


I am able to say, “I’m sorry.”

I leave my ego behind and admit when I am wrong.

I embrace humility.

It’s never easy to eat humble pie but there is spiritual integrity in its flavor.  Only the ego needs to always be right.  Only the ego can’t say “I was wrong.”   From the heart we can be honest and easily say, “I was wrong and I am sorry.”   From the heart we know that we are not less for our mistakes but more for owning them.

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Day 94


The business of others is none of mine.

I only know what is best for me.

I allow others their own journey and experiences without my interference.

I practice compassion and tolerance.

It can be hard in a world that promotes voyeurism – think reality shows and YouTube – to remember that how others live is, for the most part, none of our business.  It’s easy to get drawn into the drama and to take part in passing judgment, but wisdom teaches us that each person has their own journey, their own karma, their own soul contracts, and their own spiritual lessons we know nothing about.   If someone makes a life choice we don’t understand or condone, we are being given an opportunity to practice tolerance.  If we find someone’s behavior unusual or shocking, Instead of judging, condemning, or maligning we can hold them in the energy of respect or compassion. Only when someone invites us into their life and asks for our opinion do we need to be a part of their business.  Of course this doesn’t mean turning a blind eye in dangerous situations, or when behaviors negatively impact our lives, but when it comes to ordinary circumstances, our interest is best left to the well-being of our own lives.  What others think is none of our business.   What others do is none of our business.   And if a situation doesn’t involve us, it doesn’t involve us.  

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Day 90


I am stronger than the influence of any negativity.

I choose to expose myself to that which supports and mirrors my positive thoughts, actions and feelings.

I surround myself with optimistic, hopeful people.

I engage myself in uplifting activities.

I cherish myself, my balance and my happiness, and do what I can to promote those states within me.

Everyone has those days that challenge personal equilibrium. They’re the days when it seems like everyone around us is breathing dragon fire. The boss is yelling, the kids are screaming, the ne’er content friend is complaining again and we are standing in the middle of them all.  We try to remain detached, reminding ourselves that their problems are not ours.  We physically remove ourselves from the wellspring of discontent only to wind up the captive audience of a right vs. left, fear-mongering, news broadcast.  By the time the sun has disappeared, so has our ability to withstand the onslaught of negativity.  We’re agitated, nervous, cranky, and generally unhappy.  It isn’t always easy, but we can protect ourselves from the energies we don’t want to be influenced by.  To start with, we can be very selective about the people and situations we interact with.  We can make a habit of avoiding those operating from lower vibrational energies.  We can learn to end conversations when the focus turns to unproductive complaining, fault-finding, or worrying.  We might choose to watch or read only enough news as is needed to stay informed.  Beginning the day with a high vibration, well grounded in positive thoughts, feelings, and the heart, while periodically repositioning one’s self in that vibration throughout the day, is one of the best ways to avoid being brought down by the misery of others.  By putting our attention on that which is beautiful, sacred, loving, whole, abundant, and healthy, we center ourselves in our hearts and align ourselves with positive energy. Pausing at various moments during the day to feel love, gratitude, compassion, joy, freedom, security, or any of the other emotions that take us into the heart, has the same effect.  With just a little effort, we can avoid rolling around in the pollution of negativity, keep ourselves energetically clean, and develop habits that help reduce our exposure to emotional toxins.

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Day 88


I see life through the instrument of my heart.

I perceive existence with my sense of loving.

My eyes and ears may fail me, but my heart never will.

If intuition is the sixth sense, love is the seventh, and its instrument is the heart. With the heart we can see the world and its experiences through the eyes of the Divine.  With the heart we can see the pathway to forgiveness.  With the heart we can hear words without judgment or fear.  With the heart we can touch the lives of those who suffer or need.  From the heart we can speak words of appreciation, compassion and tolerance.  When we use our hearts to experience life through loving – just as we use our eyes to experience life through seeing and our hands to experience life through touching – the world and all in it are seen as having  higher purpose, divine mystery, and an inherent beauty.  Anytime life takes on a troubled hue, we can see it differently by looking with the heart.

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Day 87


I am a garden

I am creation manifest.

I am growing, evolving, transforming and bearing the fruits of love abundantly.

I nourish myself of my harvest and share infinitely with others.

In our most natural state, we are gardens.  We grow strongest in well fertilized soil, are in a constant state of transformation, and our existence is often plagued with pests and weeds, but with mindfulness, and the help of others, we overcome and become productive.  Our perennial crop is love, and when upon harvest we have enough for ourselves and others.

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Day 83


I recognize the patterns that repeat in my life.

I accept that I have stayed in these patterns because I need to grow beyond my need for them.

I release my fears and embrace my own worthiness, as I release myself from these old patterns.

I pay attention so that I do not fall back into habitual patterns.

I am grateful for all I have learned from the patterns in my life.

I accept nothing less than what is healthy and self-promoting in my life.

I strive for linear patterns of growth and expansion built on and supported by love and self-worth.

I deserve all good things in life.

We’ve all known times when it feels like we’re living life on a merry-go-round, forever going in circles, reliving the same experiences and situations, again and again and again and again.  If we can see these patterns in our lives, we’re fortunate, we’ve taken the first step toward change just by our awareness and acknowledgement of the circular pattern we’ve been living.  The next step is to get off the ride.

To begin, we need to determine what core experience it is that we keep repeating.  Is it consistently choosing the wrong partner or repeatedly accepting soul-draining employment ?  There might be a pattern of acquiring and losing, or one of sabotaging happiness.  With a lot of honesty – and maybe the input of some equally honest friends – the pattern can be revealed.

We keep repeating experiences because we’ve not yet learned something about ourselves that those experiences are trying to show us.   Most of the time what is needed to be understood is that we are worthy (of more, better, or what we keep destroying).  Very often it is self-worth and self-love that have not been fully realized.  Fear will also keep us on the circular path.  We may fear change, the unknown, the opinions of others, or fear our own success.   Once we understand what we’ve needed to learn from these repetitive situations, we can do the inner work and move on.  The old patterns, attractions, reactions, experiences and situations will no longer serve us.

A bit of caution – it can be easy to fall back into old patterns so we must be vigilant.  And it is almost always the case that we will find ourselves in the same sort of experience or situation at least one more time, even after we’ve outgrown its usefulness.  Why?  We might still be holding some residual energy that draws us to it or it can be a challenge we put before ourselves to see if we’ve really moved beyond our need for it.  If we find ourselves on the ride one more time we can immediately recognize it and jump off.  We won’t need it, will want better for ourselves, and won’t settle for the old patterns anymore.

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